People, have been looking for something called love. Some have succeeded, some others haven’t, but what is this thing? why is it so important? is it necessary?
Searching for something no one can explain, but everyone is able to feel, seems to be something really unreachable or even nonsense. why to look for something that’s supposed to be a need of attention and/or approval? is feeling loved truly a need? because is not like water or air, even when some have compared them. I’m not able to answer all of these questions, thats a given, but I’m truly intrigued by it.
Looking for someone to love you (not to love) is such and unconscious state of mind. Some say you can find it if you look for it, some others would say you would bump into it if you stop looking for it. It’s contradictory how it works, because whenever you are looking and find someone you like, you are limited to that ‘special one’s’ decision of whether or not she/he likes you and so that’s how far you can keep looking. In the other hand, some claim, this is why you don’t look for it, you just go with the flow or let ‘destiny’ (personally I do not believe in such a thing, anyway…) do its thing, but sometimes you can crash against a wall of impulses and decisions that would not do good to that relationship.
Do you know how there’s a yin to a yang, a customer to a product, a deity to a believer, a dumb to a smart, a Father to a Daughter? well I believe there’s a look for and not to look for procedure in this thing, yeah crazy huh? I’ll elaborate on it.
It is dumb, to me, to pretend that walking around life looking for that special someone, in some way we always are, but still, is the right way of trying to find happiness, how does that work anyway? is not like you are gonna be bumping into people asking them stuff like: would you like to talk and find out and if we are a good match? would you have sex with me? would you have kids with me? I’m desperately looking for love, would you fall in love with me? I just don’t think so haha; if you agree that some of these questions are in fact dumb, well I also think not being looking for this is dumb and it’s simple: let’s assume you never meant to look for that special one, you bump into someone that caught your attention, but since you decided that you are not looking for her, you would just ‘let it flow’ and not saying anything like a very simple ‘I like you’ at the right time (soon or late) you see your self trapped in the infamous ‘friend zone’, then you realize that going with the flow or let ‘destiny’ do its thing doesn’t work.
This is how I think it works:
Don’t look for someone.
In life you bump into a lo of different people at work, school, parties, meetings, conventions, even in the street, whether you like it or not, therefore the looking is not necessary. Sooner or later the’ll be someone that just by seeing how she handles her self, talks to people, expresses her opinions, works, talks to you or by noticing some of her gestures will most definitely caught your attention, in a way that you will be interested on getting to know her better and guess what? all this without looking for her.
Looking for someone.
Okay now you have spotted someone who seems interesting for you (in this case I have), the next step? look for her, there are ways to approach people. But isn’t it harassment? haha, no I never said follow her home and be a weirdo, what I’m trying to say is: someone has to start the interaction, do not lose the opportunity of approaching her ad most importantly do not be afraid, if you are, well strap on a pair. Be straight up and ask her to go grab a cup of coffee and if she asks why then just be honest: ‘because I’ll like to talk to you and get to know you a lil better’, trust me, there’s nothing wrong with that. Make things happen.
Eventually if everything worked out well, you get a long and down the road you find your self talking to her, chatting trough txts or Skyping late at night because you both enjoy talking to each other just put it out there and say: ‘I like you, I find you very interesting’ and only then you ‘let it flow’, things take their own course from hat point on and whatever the outcome is, don’t stop this attitude, there are some points during conversations and/or relationships where you will have to ‘stop looking’ and others where you will have to ‘start looking’. Make things happen and never omit to put things out there, good or bad, always do it, otherwise you wouldn’t be honest to her nor your self and that’s 100% disrespectful.
Sounds weird, sounds like perfect nonsense, but the truth is I have bumped into someone that I can’t stop thinking about, I have found a wonderful and amazing person, a woman that truly makes me believe that there is such a thing as passion for someone. I didn’t look for her, she just walked into my life, I do look for her now every time I can and I really try to make her feel the way she makes me feel. I’m not in love, but I could definitely allow my self fall for her when the time is right.